i got zero on math

against the odd, that's what i always do. i've laid dormant all this time, just following the crowd, but this time i actually believe i can make a different. it's will be a long shot, but really do believe in it. and they call me the dreamer, irrational...
i do remember the day i was so mad at my math teacher, because he won't teach me how to solve the equation. which the lead me getting zero for the 2nd time, but i'm not giving up. i don't want to stay dormant... i don't. including this case...

paper processor

definitely need a paper processor or an instant official paperwork maker.. the one that would operate only with coins...
if there ever such a thing, it would make my life easier.. especially since my paperwork were on the other side of the globe...

we did go on an adventure yesterday, it was raining all day, and i got stuck into branches, then both my feet manage to step into a puddle of mud. truly a hoppipola moment ^^.. oh my silliness continues, as i then talked during my nap in the car...
not complaining though, i was just like one of those afternoons in bontang where i used to sneak out side and play in the garden, at which i would go home with dirt all over my clothes, and bruises on my legs and arms ^^.

debts on doubts

i woke up this morning with excitements for tomorrow's adventure with my friends. i turn on the tv as usual, had this strange feeling that i should watch national news instead of my regular foreigners' cartoon or exotic travel channel... and to my shock that man on the tv looks familiar. i didn't bother trying to remember him, but as the sun rising higher, i remembered who he is. i made a couple of short messages, but no one confirms my doubts on this man's id.

then again, by the time the day reach it's afternoon peaks, a friend of mine sort of suggested that i shouldn't come with them tomorrow. disappointed and wondering why, but he said he was only concerning my health? it sounds very sweet, but is it really the main reason, again more doubts... it feels like sunday all over again, where i was only invited by the last minutes to attend sunday dishdashdust reunion... first thing that comes on my mind, they didn't really want me there...

hmm... now i wonder where do i belong? will someone ever going to claim me as one of there own? i doubt it.

missing mr. bear

when i opened my eyes this morning, i remember when u used to say, 'i pray for you too, kanina. before i go to sleep every night...'

tonight, it's my turn to pray for you, in a hope that you can find me, soon. because i can't wait to see you again, and give a big bear hug...

baka tanuki!

i miss being tanuki, careless tanuki, happy tanuki...
tanuki have lots of friends and admirer who would always say, 'kawaiiii'

but this tanuki is growing old... but not wiser, baka tanuki!

sufficient premonition

this past week wasn't easy, it hadn't been easy these last few months...
perhaps it was a premonition, perhaps i was supposed to collapse and to never fully recover... perhaps...

i lost my grandfather last week, it was so sudden, so early in the morning, when even my brain has not registered what was just happened b4 my eyes... it's been days when i sat in front of giacommo trying to tell him what happened but not a single word came out of my mouth... not even now. i guess, well i assumed he knew what happened. just by the touching the tip of my fingers.

her life as a secret

yes, it is.. psst..

it is a secret that she is useless, and no one can actually understand what she's saying, let alone understand her as a person...

she is a secret...